You know you’ve jumped the shark…

…when you post pictures of a slug. But I don’t have a dog.

I found this little guy in my backyard trying to molest a grape. His two eyes stick out a lot further when I’m not trying to take a picture from inches away. Did you know this kind of slugcan live 3 years, has a breathing hole, and mates while dangling from a thick stream of mucus? Me neither! He’s about 4 inches long and would probably much rather be eating on my neighbor’s fig tree or grape vines.

I think I’ll name him Slithers.

Here he is, not at his longest: